The downside with the life as an expat is being far from home when something like this happens. Sunday my mother called to say that my grandfather has been taken to the hospital and that it was bad. She also shared that it was a stroke and that he was out of reach so I didn't need to hurry home. She didn't want me to worry. I anyhow checked the flights, but it was full.
The day went by and thank God that I had plans to meet up with two of my closest Basel friends to go for a walk. They encouraged me to take the next flight to be with my family. I think I was in a chock not actually planning for a trip to Sweden... But after they had woken me up and my manager had given his blessing I was heading home to Sweden the next day.
After landing I was picked up by my parents and immediately taken to the hospital to see my grandpa. He was laying there, handsome as he is, concentrating on breathing. It was hard to see. he used to be so vital, and now so fragile. I think he heard us talking to him. Sometimes he looked straight at us. One by one we all gathered at the side of his his bed. My sister came after work, then my uncle who had been home to eat and last my brother also coming from work. After a while we started to sing some hymns, music has always been a great comfort. It was indeed calming and peaceful.
Tuesday went by and we were taking turns to sit by his bed. In the evening on my way home from a friends house I felt that I wanted to see him again and I went to the hospital to sit with my uncle. Two hours went by. Then we decided that I would come back in the morning. two hours later I got the message that he's gone to sleep and that he's now with God in heaven. We all went to the hospital to say our goodbyes.
My grandpa was an extraordinary man. He was thoughtful, caring and fun. He was spontaneous and loved to tease people and to randomly talk to strangers. He was not comfortable in the centre if attention but his sense of humour often took him there. He has always been there for his family. Now he is with my grandma in heaven.
Tonight i came back to Basel. I am relieved that he didn't have to lay there for so long. And I am very happy that i went home to sit with him and to be with my family. I feel like I am walking around in some sort of a mist, not seeing clearly. He has meant so much to me, been my balance and stability in a way, and it has not really sinked in that he's now gone.
I don't know how to honour his memory in the best way. But I will do my best to be as good of a person as he was.
You bare my endless love dear grandpa. May God's peace be with you till we meet again. ❤
Åh Frida en stor varm kram till dig. Jag är innerligt glad att du fick chansen att komma hem och ta förväl av din morfar. Han kommer alltid vara saknad av dig och resten av din familj men han kommer också alltid att leva vidare i era minnen också. Du skriver så fint och jag förstår att han var en person som betydde mycket för dig i ditt liv. En stor kram till dig och beklagar sorgen så mycket.
ReplyDeleteTack så mycket!
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